Sometimes, you just don't know what life is going to throw your way. My wife-to-be and I decided it would be in our best interests if we split ways and went on with our lives.  Our romance has been a long one.  We were kindergarten sweethearts and we remained boyfriend/girlfriend through all of elementary school into high school where things started getting serious between us. It's been 6 years since high school and we had been engaged for little over a year.

I was so in love with her.  I had so many plans for us.  We both dreamed together about what our lives were going to be like.  It's strange how life throws some nasty kinks into events that seem to be going well.

She's always had some anger management issues, but as time passed, we worked on that together and she was able to get that problem under control...until this year.  She has become wild to the point that I'm actually afraid of her.  She started the whole process by making threats and spewing verbal abuse at me simply because I disagreed with her on who one of our professors was in high school.  I let her know that I didn't approve of her behavior towards me and it just all seemed to go down-hill from that point forward.  Since that time, I haven't been able to make any remarks, speak my own opinions, etc...in normal conversation with her unless she takes every word I say to heart and then all hell breaks loose.  

She's pretty much done everything to me in her out-bursts except kill me at this point.  I've been verbally abused to the point of tears, slapped, pushed, beaten,  and recently held at knife-point which is what finally made me say 'enough'.   I do not hit women, not even in self defense, but I'm not about to stand around any longer and let this continue.  It's an unexplainable feeling of fear so strong that I can't describe it to have a sharp kitchen knife held to your throat and to look into the eyes of someone you've loved since you were a child and see nothing but crazed hatred there.  I actually thought she was going to slit my throat open.  She had the knife pressed hard enough against my throat to leave indention marks across it.  And you want to know what set her off? I simply asked her if she had fed our cat.  She went into this fit of how I don't need to ask if the cat was fed, and I don't need to be checking up on her etc..etc..and I kept telling her that it was fine, that I was sorry, and that I didn't mean anything by it. I was merely just seeing if she had. He was acting like he was hungry so I just asked to make sure she did (she hadn't though, she just didn't want me asking her if she had).  She proceeded to go off the deep-end while I just stood there wondering why the heck she was going to such extremes.  She's not the same woman I fell in love with and I can't figure out for the life of me what changed her.  I don't know what caused her to suddenly come unraveled.  She refuses to seek any kind of therapist or help and usually when I mention it, it only incites her to anger.  Everything I say or do anymore, if she doesn't even remotely like it, she lets me know about it loud and clear.  I've begged her, I've pleaded with her, I've done everything I know of to get her to get help, and she refuses.

I loved her, and I still love her.  But I had to end it, for her safety and mine.  I talked to her parents and explained to them the situation and what was going on and that I really loved their daughter with every breath I have in my body, but it's because I love her so much that I have to let her go.  I absolutely adore her parents and they've treated me as if I was their own son.  They were extremely saddened by the situation but they understood that it has to be done.  I believe they are going to try to seek legal intervention to get her help.  I'm not really sure how all of that works, but if anyone can get her help, it'll be them as I have no legal rights seeing as how I was just her fiance.

I had to leave my apartment because she trashed it in a fit of rage. She broke my cats back leg in two spots, threw my laptop off the balcony, and set half of our Christmas tree on fire.  So now I'm living back with my parents for a bit while her parents deal with her.  They've promised to keep in touch with me and let me know how she's doing.  Perhaps, if they can get her some help that she needs, maybe one day my love will return to me.  Until that time, I'm crushed and heartbroken.

The seasonal changes have such an impact on my overall well-being.  I suppose that comes from being more in tune with nature as most animals are.  Spring and Summer bring an urgency, as if I have so much energy I can hardly contain myself.  Fall is usually calm and I like to just sit and enjoy the vivid colors of the changing trees.  Winter is always mixed for me. If there's snow outside, I'm super giddy.  I'll stay out in the white fluff until I freeze my tail off.  But if there's no snow, I'd just assume to curl up and sleep the day away.  I'm curious as to how other species  feel during these seasons.

Got my tail caught this morning in my car door.  The wind caught my door and shut it, so needless to say, I had some choice words to yelp out.  Some people seem to be in the delusion that phantom limbs aren't real - period.  After dealing with my own phantom limbs for yeeeeears, I think I can come to the conclusion on my own that they are very real.  "Phantom" really isn't a good word to use for them though. I believe that my soul remembers that my body should have these extra limbs, or something.  I don't know how it works really.  I never willed or even thought about "phantom" limbs when I became aware that I had them.  I just knew something was there and that they felt sensations (pain, temperature, etc..).  So no, they aren't just a figment of my imagination. They are very much real, it's just hard to even begin to try to explain it because to someone else, you're merely making the claim that you have imaginary body parts and willing yourself to pretend that they feel things which isn't the case by any stretch of the imagination.   It's a shame that we are unable to convey to others what we know and feel through any other medium other than verbal or body language.  It  would certainly make things easier.

I've waited a day or so to even bother posting here so I could let everything sink in.  I'm not even sure where to begin.

I guess a good starting point would be white vs black.  Or, let's me a little bit more politically correct and say Caucasian vs African American.   I've heard and seen several people make mention about Obama's race.  "The First Black President" they call him.  Um..No? I used this example on someone else's lj: If you have a car painted 1/2 black and 1/2 white, what makes you think you can call the car black? Or white? You can't. If it's equally the two colors, then you cannot say that it belongs to either color.  The proper term for Obama is "Biracial".  

And I love how they claimed that this Presidential election would not be based on race, but clearly...It's all about race. Has everything to do with it and not a soul is going to tell me otherwise.  I forget now what news station it was that polled several thousand African Americans to ask who they were voting for, and why.  A measly 3% were going to vote for McCain and the remainder were in favor for Obama.  When asked why they going to vote for Obama, out of the 97% remaining, a whopping 92% said that they supported certain aspects of Obama's plans for Office.  It all sounds fine and dandy until you realize that the things that they supported were actually things that the McCain campain stood for, not Obama.  A majority were things that Obama was strictly against.  I wish I could remember what news station it was on because it actually struck me as being rather funny.  

It makes me sad for America though.  We have a new President that was voted in, not for what he actually stands for (whatever the hell that might be), but because he's a new shiny toy.  It's popular to be anything but white.  And that's all Barak Obama is: A novelty. He's the new fad of America just as being gay and bisexual has become quite popular with todays youth.  Did you know you're really cool if you're gay? 

And so, having said that, I should also say that I am not racist by any means.  This human body of mine has Japanese and Cherokee Indian roots and I have two close friends that are African American that I grew up with.  I can proudly say that they did not vote for Barak because they're not blinded by race like much of America is today.

So I end my rant by saying that I do not support Barak Obama, but I do, and will always, support America and the foundations and beliefs that it was founded upon from the beginning.   God Bless America...cause we really do need it.

The one day of the year that you can let loose and be goofy in the workplace.  Got to love it.  Everyone is all dressed up and just enjoying themselves.   It's also one day out of the year that I can be my full dragon-self at work and it's perfectly acceptable.  I've eaten so much candy already that I'm practically sugar-sick.  I wonder just how much candy is consumed this day total?

I wanted to keep all of this political garbage out of my lj, but I've had my eyes opened quite abruptly and just need to write about it to make it stop festering in my system.

I'm not afraid to admit that I was an Obama supporter up until about a week ago..Now I'm not by any means the type to put political stickers or signs or any of that nonsense on anything that I own (or don't own) because I just don't work that way.  Kudos to those who are outspoken about their beliefs and views enough to tell everyone and their brothers dog about it.  That's just not me.  I'm a silent supporter/opposer until my fur gets ruffled enough to speak out. 

I've always taken pride in being the type to do my "homework" about things such as politics or issues that have come up so that I have the facts as straight as I can possibly have them and not the skewed versions of the truth that our media pelts us with constantly every second of our lives.  I never was one to just take it as it is or believe something just because someone said it was true, because more often than not, what might be true on the surface isn't  actually the case when you dig in deep enough and wade through all the ensuing mounds of dung.

For this election, I merely -thought- I had done my homework but in reality, I had done it in the wrong manner.  I was looking up information to support the skewed facts about Obama and McCain, which of course, are going to fit together perfectly as dictated by the media.  I feel almost...stupid.  Like I grabbed onto this idea of "Change" that Obama has put out there and stuck with it all the things in my mind that need to be changed in our society as a whole and made them what I believed Obama wanted to change too.  I'm not really sure how it came to that point that I so blindly let myself get suckered into being, for the lack of better words, brainwashed by this "Change" slogan that my ability to even hunt for the real facts became lost. 

I had a dream last week that I was sitting in a grassy meadow on a hill looking over this beautiful landscape, but in an instant, I was sitting among the ashes of a battle-scarred waste land and I thought to myself.. "What changed to cause this..?" When I woke up I had that question stuck in my head. What changed...what will change...what is Obama going to change? And I couldn't answer it because I don't know what radical changes Obama is going to make because he has never actually said what he is going to change.  One might argue, well he's said that he's going to change health care, or he's going to change our energy policies, or he's going to change this...NO! --Reforms-- do not constitute --change--.  To change something means to change from one thing to something entirely different.  I can -change- my answer from YES to NO.  I can change the color of my car from blue to red.  Both of the candidates are making  a lot of "reform" statements. However, these are not changes. Not by any means so one should never confuse the two.  

So this leads to me ask again..What is Obama going to change?  I've come to this conclusion: Hell if I know.  I've been searching and hunting and asking some of my co-workers and friends who I know are Obama supporters and they all say because they support his idea of change, but not one of them..Not a single one...could tell me what Obama is going to change.  The facts are too shady, too vague, and there's just no meat to anything.  

McCain on the other paw,  has plainly stated the changes he intends to make.  The policy concerning energy was particularly one that I agreed on and it is that we need to stop relying on foreign oil and resources and either start getting it from our own or come up with a different alternative such as Switchgrass or corn or some other form of renewable resource that we have that would be cheap to grow, cheap to refine, and cheap for the consumer.   Did you know that you can grow switchgrass practically anywhere? And that it can be harvested with regular ol' farming equipment? Nothing special needed.  And you know what? It gives our farmers a boost, it creates jobs, and most importantly...It causes America to rely on itself which is what we've been needing to do for many, many years. 
But the point is, it's a change. It's a BIG change. He's not saying, let's reform how we get oil from other countries, he's saying let's do away with it altogether and find a different method that's here..at home...that we can use. 

I've been a democrat for years, not because that I agreed with all of their views, but because I believed in most of them. But I think I've been knocked over the fence with this election because I've been hit hard with realities that I didn't realize I was blindly following.  The point of the matter is this...Both of them are going to make reforms and changes, we just don't know what changes Obama are going to make.  And the fact that he won't say, gives me reason to doubt.  And to make matters worse, he wants others to assume certain things as well.  Did you know that Obama does NOT support Gay and Lesbian marriage? Just like McCain, he only supports their rights to have benefits.  In one of the debates, the moderator practically had to force Obama to state his stance on Gay marriage. He tried to pussy-foot around it and the moderator wanted a straight answer, which the moderator finally got out of him.  And his stance? The same as McCains which I've already stated.  So anyone who's supporting Obama because he supports Gay marriage is dead wrong.  I believe Perez Hilton just happens to be one of those individuals who is under this false assumption.  And what's with all of this money that Obama is spending on ads? He agreed in the beginning on a spending cap with McCain and then backed out of it.  Why? So he could go spend more than $110 million dollars on ads.  You know what? I've seen more than enough of McCain and Obama's mugs on the TV without the extra ads.  He didn't need to spend more money on a 30 minute segment.  That was a little over the top in my opinion. I find it quite selfish, in fact, that he would have the audacity to spend that money when Americans all over the US are financially hurting.  It doesn't seem right, now does it?  I understand that McCain has also spent a lot of money on his campaign trail, but there is a significant difference in amounts.

And I'm sorry, but if you're an African American and voting for Obama simply because of his race, you have greater issues that need to be addressed.  Regardless of race or religion, you must vote on what is fact...Not what is popular or different. I commend those who can look beyond what is skin deep or religious.  Those people are the true thinkers. 

We need to bring America back to it's grass-roots foundation.  We need our jobs to stay here. We need our fuel to come from here, our food, our commodities... We need them all HERE in this United States of America that was founded on freedoms that we've given away or shrug off because we've become lazy and inconsiderate.  The US was once a proud nation.  And now it's nothing but a mockery.  Who's fault is it? It wasn't Bush. It wasn't Clinton. It was us. We vote these individuals into office. WE put them there. And right now, the United States needs to realize that having a Democratic House is not working.  Bush isn't running the show, THEY are. He's nothing more than a figure-head.  The democrats are the ones calling the shots and it isn't working.  The only way things around here are going to get better is if the citizens take charge and fix the mess that we created.

Perhaps Obama might make a good president, and then again, maybe not.  But as for this dragon, I voted early. And I voted for McCain.

As for comments, if you have anything rude to say, just please don't post.  If you have something informative to say about either party, please back it up with proof (truth) and not just hear-say.  Otherwise, this was merely a post to get out of my system an important change that I've made in thinking and I firmly stand by my decision. I always do.

In other news, I'm starving. What's for supper?

Growing up, I always felt (as most often do at that age) that time was slow and that I would never reach my adult years.  It always seemed so far away.  Now that I am an adult, I started noticing about 5 years ago that time suddenly shifted into high gear.  I've always heard that once you got older, time would fly by in the blink of an eye.  However true that may be, it doesn't appear to just be the adults who are feeling this sudden quickened pace of time.  Even the young now are noticing it.  It's left me pondering lately what exactly is happening.  

In the past few years, I've had this sense of urgency.  As if there's something that I need to be doing right now, and the past 6 months, that feeling has been the strongest that it's ever been.  My gut instinct has never led me wrong, whether it has been about silly simple things, or big important things; it just simply has never been wrong.  

Something...quite large...is about to happen.  I cannot tell if it is good or bad, but I do know for certain that something is coming, and very soon.

I came across these eggs and thought I'd try it out.  Still trying to figure out what the heck I do with it, but I guess that's what instructions are for eh?
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Edit:
I found someone who would take the eggs from me since I, at the time, don't really have enough time to get them hatched.  Last I looked, they were cracking and near hatching. :)

Would appear that it's been awhile since I last posted.  There's a reason for that, mostly because the "kin" community has kind-of turned me off, as I figured it would, which is why I was a lurker for so many years instead of actually being part of the kin communities.  There's no one reason really. More or less a culmination of many things that just rub my fur the wrong way.

Moving on from that, I thought I'd take just a second to rant on another topic: Ignorance.  While I was away from lj, I also did not check my e-mail that is associated with this account.  As I was checking through them, I see a response to my original "I'm New Here" type post that I made in a few of the communities I'm part of.  It would seem that the moderator of the community deleted the offender, but I could still read the post in my e-mail.   His response to me saying that I'm a dragon was more or less along the lines of "Do you breathe fire? You're delusional."  I go on to read his lj only to find some poor, pathetic soul who just hates everything in this world and all who inhabit it.  Ignorance gets you no where.  And all hate does is spur trouble.  Just because you don't understand something does not mean you have to hate it.  Take it as an opportunity to learn about it first, and if after that, you don't agree with it, then that's your perogative.  However, do not be slanderous of what someone else believes.  You do nothing but show ignorance and a sheer lack of any intellect (no matter how smart you may really be) when you start spewing your hate BS.

Don't get me wrong.  When you try to hunt for information on kin communities, you're faced with a lot of furry/kin garbage that would make anyone with any decency blush.  When you weed out the nasty porn, there really is some good information out there that could be of use to someone who may not know much (or anything at all) about our communities.  But of course, not all kin fit into the traditional sense of the things that are out there.  Out of everything I've read,  as a dragon, I don't place myself entirely into the things I've come across either.   I'm my own personal entity just as any human being could say.  Each one of us, no matter who or what we are, are different.  But our differences do not make us "freaks". 

Now that I've got all of that out of my system, I've forgotten the real reason I got on to post. Hm...Maybe I'll remember later.

Now that the temps have been between 65-80F, I feel miserable any time I'm inside now as my -need- to be outdoors has grown almost overwhelming.  If I could set my desk and computer up outside and not get fired over it for acting weird, I'd be out there in a heartbeat.  Everything is leafed out and green, the dogwoods are in full bloom among other things.  There's a few Lilac bushes right outside one of my windows.  I've kept my window open since it bloomed out.  Those bushes smell so good, it's almost intoxicating. 

In other news, someone was so kind as to rip my left side mirror off of my mustang. -_-''''''''''''''''''''''''  I know who did it as they have the dent in their door frame PLUS they actually have MY side mirror sitting in the passenger seat of their vehicle.  No note left, no nothing. But that's ok...They'll be getting a visit from me shortly. *growls*

Everything is in full bloom here now and the grass is growing like mad.  It makes me wish I was outside curled up in the grass and basking in the sunlight.  At least I have windows in my office...If I didn't, I believe I would go mad. 

I've had some very pleasant dreams lately of walking along the side of a spring fed stream and lazily resting beside it as I'm lulled by the sound of the gentle rushing water.  Later on, I find myself finishing off a deer looking animal and snacking on some sort of thick green stemmed plant that resembles bamboo poles but is very sweet to the taste.  Like...the outside looks like bamboo, and it's quite hard and crunchy.  The inside of the plant is very meaty, but crunchy/juicy and very sweet.  You could actually crush the outside of the plant, pull it away,  and be left with the meaty sweet rod of the plant.  It's hard to explain but I crave it.  It's in a lot of the dreams that I've had through my life, and I've never really figured out what it is.  But it makes my mouth water just thinking about it. 

Later, I find myself having a nice run through some tall grass and leaping into the sky, rising high enough to catch air currents to float on.  These dreams are wonderful and very uplifting to the soul even though it saddens me when I wake up and realize that I'm in this human body for the time being.  They're still nice dreams nonetheless.    

It's been a little bit since I last posted as work and life in general have been a bit hectic.  I've had a strange occurance happen between the last time I posted and now that I can't quite figure out.  As I was sitting at home one night, I kept seeing a small shadow, about the size of a medium dog, out of the corner of my eyes.  I shrugged it off and didn't think anything else about it. But since then, it's been happening more frequently and I've managed to see this shadowed figure almost head on twice in a weeks time which looks to be a small scaled black dragon.  I mostly only catch it in my side vision though, darting from here to there.  I was even laying in the floor last night and could feel that something was sniffing at the back of my neck. 

Imaginary friend? No...Too old, that's baby stuff, and I've no reason to need an imaginary friend.  I also don't drink and don't take medication, so I've not been halucinating.  I thought it was my eye sight until I saw it head on a couple of times.  I don't know what to think about it really.  It doesn't seem aggressive, just very curious.  In my attempts to do a little research on the matter, the only things I've been presented with have come from Wiccan sites/journals that deal with dragon spiritual guides and stuff like that. I am not Wiccan by any means at all, so the thoughts of "invoking a dragon spirit guide" are not on my list of things to do seeing as how I, myself, am a dragon.  I don't really care for the thought of another dragon sniffing through my things.

So yeah, odd stuff, if not somewhat annoying.

It's not fun to have a stomach bug and the bathroom being on the very top floor of a building and having your office on the bottom floor.  Yes, I have plenty of sick time I could use, but I've always been this way.  If I'm not deathly ill, I'm going to be at work (or in class as the case used to be).   They always say that the quickest way to get rid of something is to give it to someone else, course, I wouldn't wish this on anyone.  I wasn't able to eat real well last night, and what I was eating, was coming back out (gross I know).  So yeah, I'm really hungry this morning but I'm afraid to eat anything because I don't want to have to make a marathon of running up and down the stairs today.  *sigh*

So, in order to keep myself from passing out, I've been chewing gum all morning and now I think all the sugar from the gum is starting to make me sick. ARGH!!

 I was starting to think this work day was never going to end.  I think I'll go grab a book and head down to the park for awhile to unwind since it's a beautiful day out there and Bradford Pear tree's are all bloomed out...even though they smell like rotting flesh. 

As I've been looking through some communities on here, I've seen several otherkin who have begun experiencing "phantom wings" and it makes me think back to when I was a child going through all of this.  I discovered what I was at the age of 7 as mention in an earlier post. It wasn't until I was around 10 that I started experiencing "phantom wings" and a "phantom tail" which...at the time, I had no name for since I wasn't big on the internet at that point and besides that, I had no idea what was going on anyways.  I had horrible pains in my back and lower posterior, but after awhile it went away and I began to "feel" these phantom limbs move and be able to move them myself.  

I actually thought I was nuts for a long time, but the feeling was there that they existed, so..if I was crazy, I might as well enjoy the feeling of them right?  I found that if doors were shut too quickly I'd get my tail squashed which ended in some nasty pain.  The same went for my wings, which I quickly learned to curl or fold around me as I walked around if I was near anything or in tight spaces.  If I was crazy, it certainly hurt when they got hit or something, so might as well amuse myself and do what felt right.  

Many years have passed since that happened and I've grown accustomed to feeling these phantom limbs and can operate them mindlessly now.  I still question myself from time to time if I'm actually just -thinking- they're there and it's all a trick of my imagination from wanting to be in the right body..

...but then I accidently smash the end of my tail or bang the tip of a wing on a doorframe and quickly resolve my mind.  

Moving on from that, I love to sit outside and just enjoy nature.  It's become harder to do that since I moved away from my parents who live in the country ( I now live in the city).  I usually end up going to the park or something to unwind when I can and let the nice breeze blow again me while I just gaze off into the sky.  I love nature..I long for it when I'm unable to be outside.  

I often find myself wishing a thousand times over that I had not moved out of my parents house so I could go back to the days where I would lay under -my- giant oak tree against the cool thick grass and stare up through the limbs and leaves into the various specks of blue sky that I could see through the foliage.  I miss that so much that it makes my heart ache.  There's so many things I miss about being in the country.  I left home to go to work and make sure I could face the world on my own.  

I've seemingly established myself in the workforce and now that I've done so, I have time to settle down and think.  I visit my parents almost weekly, but once a week or now and then isn't enough to satisfy my need to be surrounded by the beauty of the countryside instead of the ugliness of the city.  I need nature almost as much as I need food to eat.  When I don't have it, it hurts.

I know that everyone has dreams and the like.  No big deal usually unless your dreams are recurring or just something is out of the ordinary, otherwise, not many give them a second thought through the day.

My dreams, with the exception of a pawful, are either recurring, continuations, or just pleasant dreams that all follow the same patterns and I am always either looking at myself or through my own eyes.  They're usually always very vivid so that I can remember them down to some of the tiniest of details within the dreams.  The pleasant dreams usually involve exploring some unknown areas of land or flying high above and just lazily looking down below surveying the land.  These dreams are some of my favorites especially when it comes to the flying.  It feels so real and just...so right...to have the wind beneath my wings.  It always saddens me to wake up.  

The continuation dreams seem to happen in parts, almost like episodes in a tv show.  And they always seem to deal with searching for something or someone.  The shortest continuation I've had was maybe 10 parts (10 dreams). The longest I've had has spanned 43 parts (43 dreams).  

The recurring dreams are usually the product of the continuations being smashed together into one dream and having them again and again and again and you get the picture.  However, there is one dream that I have more often than these, and it's a war dream. A very bloody and intense war dream that usually makes me feel extremely weird (for lack of a better way of explaining it) during the course of the next 2-3 days after I have it. 

This dream always feels really long and never ending, and of course, I left out a lot of the fighting parts.  I can't figure out this dream no matter how much I think on it.  It feels so real though...like it did happen at some point in time. 

Maybe some day I'll figure it out...In the meantime, I'll just go crazy trying to come up with a conclusion.

I realize that the world has already been exposed to dragons and otherkin, but I'm a bit curious...Generally, a group of individuals that are sharing the same "traits" are lumped together in a group much like Gays, Lesbians, etc...and unfortunately each group is stereotyped.  I believe what they don't understand is the general division between all the "otherkin" races.  They are all so diverse, even among the dragons, that I would honestly find it very difficult to be able to lump them ALL into a singular group.  

If dragon and otherkin really came out in the open through radio, tv, and other media about who and what we are, I wonder how the world would view us?  Would they see us as some new odd race of "people" and be prejudiced against us?  Or would they just mark us as a group like I mentioned earler in the first paragraph?

I just wonder from time to time what it would be like if there were no "groupings" and no "prejudice."  Maybe some day I'll find out.

For years I've tried to figure out and understand what my purpose is in being here. What purpose I've got and what good it does me being a dragon trapped in a human body.  Is there something that my Creator wants -me- to learn? Or is there something far greater than that I'm supposed to accomplish or some sort of task I was sent here to do?  These questions plague my mind daily.  I know what I -like- to do.  I know what I'm -good- at doing.  But how can I use the talents that I'm given to make a difference and why couldn't some one else, someone completely human, have done or do the same thing? 

There must be a reason that my Creator put me here in this body at this point in time, even if it was at the expense of a portion of my sanity in trying to discover how to deal with being a dragon sent here in a human body.  I know that individuals spend their entire lives wondering what they're supposed to be doing, and I doubt many ever truly realize what their purpose is in life...But I believe that some are granted that wisdom after much soul searching so they can make a difference, no matter how big or small and no matter how many or few lives it has an impact on.  I just wish I could find mine..or perhaps I already know what mine is and just don't realize it.  

I just wonder sometimes if maybe all dragonkin/otherkin have a grander purpose here that we are supposed to accomplish together, and we are all just so self absorbed in figuring out our identities that we're not paying attention to what we really should be doing. 

Who knows.  I for one, haven't the slightest idea.